On my best days I believe these words. I’m not entirely sure it’s possible to pursue a career in music with totally altruistic motives, but I do think it’s possible to pursue success while still being authentic and remaining aware of the needs of the people around you. And for me, striking that balance hinges on my ability to say “but I’m getting to the point where I can live without you…” It’s a frightening notion, but to remember that I’m not entitled to a career doing what I love, it’s an important one.
I think it’s also important to grapple with the idea that I may not actually be that good…. or if I am, there’s still loads of room to grow. But even if I’m not that good, it shouldn’t ever stop me from locking myself away in a room to play guitar and sing for hours on end. And then after I’ve written a song I’m proud of, I’ll share it with the closest person to me because I love sharing my heart. It’s only ever been about that. But having to pay my bills, that’s the part that blurs my vision… maybe yours too.
But back to “being able to live without”… It’s been those words that have actually freed me up to chase my dream/s with clearer vision. It’s helped me remove the ticking-time-bomb syndrome. It’s freed me up to set goals with open hands. When I was afraid that someone or something might take away “my dream” I held on so tight that I couldn’t see two steps in front of me. But when I realized that I’m not entitled to this dream, I started to enjoy the journey again. They can’t take away something I don’t own, or something I’m willing to give up if it’s the best thing for me and my family.
The rat race is overrated. You can have all the money and success in the world and still be poor. God, give me strength to remember that.